Advice to the Woman Seeking Mr. Right

We’ve all heard some variation of the saying “Don’t look for love. Let love find you.” Though it’s super cliché and we roll our eyes at it, it’s so true.

I was inspired to write this post after I had a great conversation with my dad at dinner the other night. We were on the topic of relationships and he shared some of the best relationship advice I’d heard in a while. Granted, these are all things that we’ve discussed in the past, but it was refreshing to hear it again. Typically, any relationship advice comes from my mom, so I like when I get advice from my dad because he offers a different perspective.

So, with that being said, I’m going to share with you guys some of the awesome advice I got from him!

You have to attract a man. You can’t find a man. My dad related this to going shopping and simply buying the first pair of shoes or pants you see just because you need a pair and you’re tired of looking. Isn’t it funny how when we are actively seeking a companion, we end up settling for someone totally wrong for us (for example, someone who’s disrespectful, a bad communicator, lazy, or inattentive). This is because, just like those shoes at the mall, we’ve settled for the first guy who came our way and showed us some attention.

Instead, work on attracting a man. You attract a man by how you carry yourself. When you’re working on yourself and focused on your goals, ambitions, and self-improvement, that is when you attract a man (I know you’ve heard this a thousand times). Even though it’s easy to lower your standards and settle for the wrong person, don’t! Always remember that you are a queen and deserve to be treated as such.

“The best way to get over one man is to get into yourself.” – Dad

You don’t need a man. Once you’re truly content with yourself, you will understand that you don’t need a man to be complete. When you’re content with yourself, you enjoy a man’s company but you don’t need it. When you’re content with yourself, you understand that you can be alone without being lonely. You have to get to a place where you’re happy with yourself; you don’t mind chilling at home alone and watching a movie or having some me-time by treating yourself to a spa day. Of course, you can easily get a man, but when you’re independent, having a man isn’t a necessity; you don’t have to rely on a man to make you happy or feel complete. When you’re 100% all about you and focused on your grind, that’s most likely when Mr. Right will come along.

You and Mr. Right will have a mutual vision. A man who is right for you is someone who appreciates all of your accomplishments and compliments your success. He will not be intimidated by your accomplishments, but rather, motivated by them. You should both have similar ambitions and strive to better yourselves together. Ultimately, Mr. Right will appreciate you and everything you have to offer. He will accept you, flaws and all (shout-out to Beyonce) and appreciate your hustle; he won’t complete you, but instead compliment you.

I am blessed to have found Mr. Right when I least expected it, so I can attest to all of these points. I must say that having such a wonderful example of Mr. Right as a father definitely helped to set the precedence for what I wanted in a life partner.

It is my hope that if you are actively seeking Mr. Right, you will stop and start focusing on bettering yourself first. Refer back to these tips and always remember your worth. I know it’s easier said than done, but, trust me, you should never settle for anything or anyone.

Let me know what you guys think about my dad’s advice. Have you found any of this to be true? How did you end up finding Mr. Right? Am I missing anything? Let me know in the comments!

34 Comments

  1. Tammy October 18, 2017 at 5:52 pm

    Sounds like you are quite blessed to have a wonderful father figure. No doubt his wisdom and council has been a special guiding force in your life. Thanks for sharing his advice!

  2. Thomas Blake October 19, 2017 at 7:07 am

    Interesting article thanks for sharing

  3. Roamy October 19, 2017 at 7:26 am

    Hello Lauren
    As a woman who was single like forever, I wish I had seen your post back then, when I felt desperate and thought I was running out of time.
    Having said that,I totally agree that you cant find a man, you have to attract him, but this is what we forget when we are single,we try very hard to “find a man”
    Thanks for sharing, really informative.

  4. Jade October 19, 2017 at 7:32 am

    Really loved this. So many good points made.

  5. Bronx October 19, 2017 at 8:10 am

    Your dad has some really great advise!! When you hear/read it like this is all seems so logical!

  6. Fabiana @ No Wagon Diet October 19, 2017 at 8:19 am

    I love this! The word need is really disempowering and puts us in an immediate state of lack. When we believe we need a man, we’re never enough just as we are.

  7. Veronica October 19, 2017 at 10:48 am

    “The best way to get over one man is to get into yourself.” – Dad –> I love this! It’s so true! I think this might be the reason why I’ve always felt invigorated and “reborn” after a breakup – all of a sudden I get to focus on myself again and learn all these new things about myself!

  8. samantha October 19, 2017 at 10:54 am

    my fav part of this was “you don’t need a man”. I consider myself a strong individual, even though my husband and I will be celebrating 9 years of marriage in a few weeks, i feel so many girls forget this. while i do have a husband, i can get along on my own as well. if i couldn’t we never would have survived 4 years of the USMC (including a deployment), or him being a long haul trucker for 2 years. we have 4 kids, and a house, and pets, and I can take care of everything myself. So many girls go from guy to guy to guy. also just something different about how we meet: we both worked in the same building while attending college, it was not love at first sight. I hated him, and our boss knew it and would assign us to different areas. Now look at us, married for almost a decade.

  9. Elise Cohen Ho October 19, 2017 at 11:55 am

    When we find ourselves and appreciate ourselves is when we are ready to invite a significant other into our lives. Before then your only SO really needs to be yourself.

  10. Regina Daniels October 19, 2017 at 12:10 pm

    Some great post you made here, I was actually looking forward to seeing something like this. Thanks for sharing, I’ll pass it on immediately

  11. Hlegal October 19, 2017 at 1:52 pm

    Your dad is super right .
    But i think otherwise because you cant live alone all your life .
    But i respect your article and love it Z

    1. Rocsi October 19, 2017 at 1:58 pm

      Interesting point. Thanks for your comment!

  12. Juli October 19, 2017 at 2:25 pm

    I really like the quote your dad made, thanks for sharing these tips with us.

  13. Ruxandra LeMay October 19, 2017 at 7:36 pm

    Love the quote from dad, very original and totally true! Self-care is one of the most important acts and it’s also important to keep it up not only while single and waiting for Mr. Right, but also when in a relationship with Mr. Right.

  14. Heather A LeGuilloux October 19, 2017 at 9:09 pm

    You have covered some great points in this post. I have always had the motto that you need to love yourself before you can love others AND before someone can love you, so I’m glad to see you share this with others. I would also add that it’s important to recognize the accomplishments of your potential partner, as well, so that it’s a mutual union rather than a lopsided relationship. Great post!

  15. Aitza B October 19, 2017 at 11:00 pm

    “He will not be intimidated by your accomplishments, but rather, motivated by them. ” *insert praise gif* This is an entire sermon! I’ve met too many women shrinking themselves cause their partner thought she was going to outshine him. That’s a huge red flag and means you need to run in the opposite direction ASAP! Your dad is dropping gems.

  16. Karlee October 19, 2017 at 11:55 pm

    You have such a beautiful blog and great outlook on this topic! I have a good friend who is constantly in relationships and after her last one ended she finally took my advice which is similar to what you’re saying and started putting herself first and focusing on making sure she was healthy mentally, physically, and emotionally. I know that when her Mr. Right comes along she will be ready but until then she’s doing her and I can’t be more proud of her for realizing the importance of not needing a man and not trying to seek out a man!

  17. Prima October 20, 2017 at 12:26 am

    Really interesting article Lauren. You have some great points there. I am blessed too because I already found my Mr. Right but I think I need to share this with my girl friends!!

  18. Ipsita Paul October 20, 2017 at 1:00 am

    I completely agree, especially with the last point.

  19. Tisha October 20, 2017 at 2:45 am

    Wise words from yoir dad! Especially the part about not needing a man, so many young girls grow up and start to measure their worth by the presence of a significant other and it lowers their self esteem! I also agree that the right guy must be attracted ny character! Great post!

  20. Scenes From Nadine (Nadine Smith) October 20, 2017 at 7:27 am

    You have a very wise dad! He is absolutely right. Men are attracted to women who are not trying to impress them. They are attracted to women who have their own thing going on and are loving their life even if they are single. I personally attracted the right man when I stopped looking for a man!

  21. Michelle October 20, 2017 at 11:25 am

    I totally agree, I know so many people who latch on to the first man that asks them out. It never ends up very well! I found someone who respects me, and is loyal when I stopped looking. I was ready to be single, and I even turned him away a few times before I actually considered giving him a chance. He had to pursue me, not the other way around. Your Dad is a smart man for sure.

  22. Ashley @ GrowingSpangs October 20, 2017 at 8:50 pm

    Great advice. I’m married, but like everyone else, didn’t date all stellar guys. When I was actively looking, just like you said, I’d settle. Nailed it!

  23. Katherine Gamble October 20, 2017 at 11:32 pm

    You have a really awesome Dad. I love this post. Not only did it entertained me, but motivated me to keep improving on myself. This girl is not settling.

  24. Menaka Bharathi October 21, 2017 at 2:46 am

    Very well said, Mr Right needs to be sought and to know who that Mr right is for you is the real task

  25. Rawlings October 22, 2017 at 2:42 pm

    when you meet the right person, everything falls into place. Nice and inspiring post

  26. Shaylah Coogan October 22, 2017 at 8:06 pm

    You are so blessed to have such an amazing dad to give you so much wisdom and advice. Excellent article!

  27. Jade October 23, 2017 at 8:29 am

    Absolutely loved this! Many of things are so true, but as women we sometimes get so caught up on finding a guy that we forget the simple rules.

  28. steph parrell October 23, 2017 at 8:34 am

    Great post! I think the most important thing is realizing that you dont need a man! If you go into looking for mr. right thinking you need him then you won’t be able to find the right one because you will be searching from a place of need not want. That is a huge difference!

  29. Erika Ravnsborg October 23, 2017 at 8:41 am

    Very good advice. It’s also good to point out that finding a man won’t necessarily make you happy.

  30. Julia October 23, 2017 at 8:55 am

    This has been something I have been struggling with recently. I work A LOT and the guy I was seeing most recently was not conducive to my life. I settled and once we broke up everyone let me know I did. They all gave me the same advice that you list here. I guess patients really is a virtue.

  31. MeChell October 24, 2017 at 10:47 am

    I used to be the type who settled for less than I deserved and had a lot of crappy relationships because of it.. all because I didn’t want to be alone. Now I am content being single. Still keeping my options open but I’ve learned not to settle for less!

  32. Herlina Kwee October 24, 2017 at 9:45 pm

    I agree with the advice. I am one who never bother chasing a guy. I believe in the right time, God will bring him into my life. So, I get busy living my life to the fullest. When you know God loves you, you won’t be desperate for anyone’s fleeting attention.

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